i keep thinking about Meghan’s suggestion that i should write a prevention list at the end of the book.  i should, but i haven’t because it haunts me,  i genuinely believed for years that i was protecting my children from abuse, but i was wrong,  so the only list i feel qualified to write is remedial–a list of don’t, not do’s, that i write brokenly–like writing to the person i thought i was before…

don’t think you can be too careful or paranoid

don’t take advice from people whose parenting models you don’t agree with

don’t second guess your instinct

don’t think that instinct will be enough

don’t expect a child abuser to tell the truth (they won’t)

and don’t expect them to have a conscience (they don’t)

don’t believe statistics ( sexual abuse is ridiculously underreported)

don’t believe the myths surrounding both predators and their victims

(for instance most victims of abuse are not abusers

and abusers will lie about everything to save their skin or keep abusing)

don’t think that there is an economic, racial, or educational profile for predators, there isn’t

don’t think abuse is rare

remember 6 degrees of separation?  it is my contention that if you have not been the victim of a sexual predator, you have a close relationship or family relationship with someone who has

why?

because all the predators I know or have heard of had an AVERAGE of 10 victims

that means that if even 10% of the population is a predator, we are all victims

don’t think that prevention checklists, sex offender registry, and warning sign checklists will ferret out most abuse

which leads to my next post..