I think that when someone dies the first part of the grief process is the hardest because the thing you want the most is to get the beloved back. The grief and its intenisity signals your proximity to the person you miss. You hold on to the grief because it is the placeholder for the person and who you were with them.
All this is the same when you are grieving the aftermath of sexual abuse, only there is no funeral, no one has died, what has died is the life you thought you had and the trust you had in the abuser. The period of time following the revelation of C’s abuse was long and was by far the hardest grief I have ever experienced. It was so rough it caused physical illness.
Now the stage we are in is different but when grief emerges it is so intense and focued that I am afraid that I am not doing enough to help my children to recover. We ask why? a million ways, we search for acceptable answers to unaccaptable history.
I say all of this because last night was very hard. We cried and mourned because we had watched movies from the time the girls were small until after the abuse was discovered and we all knew that these happy-looking scenes were a scrim for a dark mind and terrible predation. How could he? We will never have an answer.
And as I stay up very, very late with my two precious daughters I am haunted by all the other little children who have been abused and cry alone.
Carrying Light 
I grieve and mourn willingly with you for these precious lives! However, I know with equal certainty (because I have been where you are-linked 3x in separate unrelated arenas tied by this type of abuse ) there is a life beyond what seems possible for those who are Christ’s beloved. A life that fully blossoms in spite of the trauma, because that is what God does best. It may be far off yet, but it is there. Why did God see fit to tie me into these 3 arenas in a place I detest and can become physically ill over? It is beyond my understanding. After the audacity of the 3rd arena unfolded, I resolved to also tell about this abuse by writing a story. It was a tipping point. Chapter by chapter I wrote each day after a daily face-to-the-floor begging for understanding. Three years have passed and many rejections, BUT I will rewrite my story, Not One Bird Falls as many times as needed until it is done.
First–God bless you dear sister! You are a wonderful light and your children rise up and call you blessed. Second, don’t wait for someone to validate your writing–try createspace. I will get together with you and help you through the process if you want. I need to give you a copy of my book/s so you can see how easy it is. If you have a word doc, you have a book and you do not need a publisher to vet the process.