One of the ridiculous, perhaps even criminal notions repeated by adults is
children are resilient.
Really? Then why are adults so screwed up?!
The invocation of CAR (children are resilient) is really just a way to push off the truth–any victim of crime needs a lot of help. In fact we need:
Consistent and patient counselors and supporters
A structured sense of personal value
A sense of personal safety
Help with bad dreams and worse memories
Years to ask the question why?
Knowledge and truth–especially the reassurance that being a victim is not our fault.
Someone to fight for us.
Prayer. Lots of prayer.
I think with this list most of us can be resilient. Without these supports–the wounds deepen and the road is lonely and painful indeed.
Don’t make the myth of CAR an excuse for neglecting the quiet pain of the wounded–we all need to know we are not alone.
We all need a Defender.