We knew that the abuse had happened, he had been caught in the act. Because he was (and is) a child predator, he was very good at masking evil.
He was not the first child molester I knew who did this. They all do.
All do what? They all do unbearable, unspeakable things to children and then call those things by ordinary names.
It was an ugly conversation.
We went around in circles. He would say he had put his victims on his lap. He would say they played “house” or “husband and wife.”
He subverted the ordinary.
So finally I got a placeholder–an ordinary piece of luggage. In exasperation I gave it to him and said, show me what you are talking about.
He did not want to. Reenacting the facsimile of abuse was too close to the truth for both of us, but it put the lie to his words.
The devil in the details.
He grooms everyone. And he looks for weakness and opportunity the way an addict looks for drugs–relentlessly.
That night I realized how close his words and descriptions were to another child molester who had described sexual assault as “holding” on his “lap.”
Their “innocuous” descriptions of unspeakable evil were the same. The devastation and pain they created in the lives of innocent victims were also the same.
And yet we all look away. We plug our ears and turn away.
If we were brave and faced it straight up we would see the patterns in the lives of child molesters. We would be forced to face how much they rely on adults not intervening.
They count on us looking away. Because when we do we give them all the opportunity they need…
to abuse again.