I wasn’t there

But I have taught my girls to write things down real good, even if they, in their goodness, leave out all the vowels I would growl and punctuate myself

Lately I have been absent too much– attempting to complete my hostage negotiator certification

— I envy the flyboy his reckless invectives

If only he were just

Overturning tables in the temple

Not just

Staging some unforeseen tantrum

I want to tantrum too!

Put my street prophet beard on and stomp and rant

Shake this

dying world down

She tells me to tell the bedtime stories

One about a little girl shouting at the top of the stairs and the other about that little girl’s once-upon-a-time daughter

Shouting from the roof

Beginning her long history of aerial protests

In an attempt to give her daughters more of her I find the news report which shows both their parents together at an impromptu arraignment, the way other orphans might re-watch their parents’ wedding videos.

This is all we have–bits of dialogue and local news

And the dogged belief that one day the truth must indeed set us free

Romans 13:8-12 NIV
[8] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. [9] The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” [10] Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. [11] And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. [12] The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

When I was young and pretty we became foster parents. We met children for short and long times. Some stayed for years and some I wished had stayed longer.

Veronica was the baby we loved so much and were forced to relinquish. We offered to adopt all of her siblings. Destiny was her older sister, a beautiful little girl who had been through a lot by the time I met her.

Her mom died a few years ago and she contacted me, angry that I had written about her mom without really knowing her faults.

I knew some of her faults, but still cared about her and mourned when she died.

Destiny died the same way her mom did on Easter Sunday.

She was a beautiful young woman like her mother and her sisters.

What can I say? What can I do?

We all live flawed lives, but we still matter. We leave holes in the world for what was and what could have been.

The argument simmered under the surface for years. The paternity of the little girl was questioned by her (alleged) paternal grandmother.

I don’t know how many times she made the argument, but when I talked to her all her sons were still living. She said the girl was the child of the identical twin brother.

Which either way woulda made her the grandma…

Never mind

She is my little girl now

I don’t like what happened to her mom in either life or death.

But I am grateful she is here with me

Spitfire pixie