Shaken Baby Prevention

You had a cousin who died in foster care. His foster mother went to jail on a plea bargain. She probably did it, although she claimed she did not know how he had received the brain injuries that killed him. Her family insinuated it was a babysitter.

I saw her once with him. She looked like she really loved him. She looked thrilled to have him. He died in her care.

His story haunts me because it should not have ended in murder. Infanticide. Based on my experience with some of his cousins I bet he was challenging but that is no excuse for hurting a baby. Thousands of children die every year because people who are supposed to protect them hurt them instead.

His siblings were returned to their father who had been accused of molesting them.

Broken. Really broken.

I think anyone who takes care of a baby needs to know that sometimes babies cry…
A lot.

They cry because of hunger and thirst
They cry to be held or changed
They cry because they are sick
They cry because they are tired
They cry because they are teething
They cry when you are tired, frustrated, lonely
They cry in inconvenient places

It sometimes feels like they are crying to cry
out of spite?
but they are not

They just need love and patience and time.
All crying stops.

So think before you lose it.
Call for help.
Take a break and think

Call me…
But never, never, never
Hurt the baby

when mothers hurt…

Toryn Buckman

I became a foster parent because of stories like Toryn’s.  I quit foster parenting when I realized that the state of X was not in the business of rescuing the Toryns of the world.

I am not going to tell you what happened to her.  Google her.  I want you to read at least three articles about what happened to this precious little girl.  Then I want you to think about several things.

What is justice for Toryn?

Where does evil like this come from?

Where does it end?

Can we afford to wince and look away?

Are you sorry you read about her?  Was it a downer?  Would you rather have watched a juicy episode of Game of Thrones?  (Please don’t, by the way..)

Please understand me.  It is always easier to expect someone else to take care of the Toryn’s of the world, but it is impossible to believe no one suspected anything was wrong in the life of a child who was beaten to death over the course of at least six months.  What we do know is that no one saved her.

Let me repeat that again.

No one saved her.

 

As a christian I am as appalled by this story as most “normal” people–whatever their creed or belief.  But I have some answers for these questions, hard, difficult, stay up and pray and fast answers, but answers nonetheless.

My answers start with Matthew 18 and end with a River and a Tree for the healing of the nations.

And in the middle is a Man dying on the Cross of history, the rictus of pain for a little girl named Toryn and all of us.

Scarred Savior.  Scapegoat God.