Don’t miss the pain
Wrestle it like a bear
Don’t miss the scenes
I can see them in my head
Don’t miss the humiliation
Worse things have come
To light
Don’t miss the sorrow
It is my silent twin
Don’t miss the girl
I used to be
Go to her and tell her
It’s not your fault
It’s not your fault
It’s not your fault
Some people are healing listeners. They help me just by reading this, abiding with my quixotic ways..
But there are others who astound me
They hear my story and do not grieve
They only tell me what I should do
And those people?
Always wrong…
Listening skills and empathy–dangerous compassion
Here are some markers–I struggled with a sadness so strong when I was young that I frequently wished for death. God would tell me, hold on, it will get better. Your storms almost killed me. How many times did you tell me you did not love me?
When I was 17 I saw that dad was not the bad guy.
When I was 22 I realized that I would have to weather your storms to make wise decisions
When I was 30 I faced my monsterization-just like grandma and grandpa.
When I was 30 I heard you hurt me viciously and intentionally.
When I was 34 I faced your mental illness.
When I was close to 40 I talked to you about it. That did not go well.
For over 15 years I have weathered your vision of me–a monster.
I know you love your dogs more than me
You sided with a pedophile rapist over your grandchildren, his victims.
I do not believe this letter will reach you.
But it is the last way to say
I love you, get help
You need help.
Carrying Light 