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About Elea Lee

Foster parent, adopting parent, family advocate, educator, homeschool parent

He has done everything well

Mark 7:36-37 (NIV)
Jesus commanded them not to tell anyone. But the more he did so, the more they kept talking about it. [37] People were overwhelmed with amazement. “He has done everything well,” they said. “He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak.”

I don’t expect people to believe in Jesus. It is a crazy story. I know that. But the people who knew Jesus up close, first century, in the flesh, told the story with no hint of irony.

We know they believed in Jesus because they died for his crazy story.

So take this story for what it is–the guy does an impossible thing and then says, don’t mention it.

But they can’t help themselves. He does all things well. They express their amazement at his power, his miracles.

I express mine as well–

His sovereign power demands my awe. His sacrifice of love changes my story.

Forever.

Be Open

Mark 7:31-35 (NIV)
Then Jesus left the vicinity of Tyre and went through Sidon, down to the Sea of Galilee and into the region of the Decapolis. [32] There some people brought to him a man who was deaf and could hardly talk, and they begged him to place his hand on the man. [33] After he took him aside, away from the crowd, Jesus put his fingers into the man’s ears. Then he spit and touched the man’s tongue. [34] He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means, “Be opened!”). [35] At this, the man’s ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.

The man’s disability was hindering his integration into community. His community responded the way it should (at least in the context of this story). They begged God for help.

Who needs help in your community? Too often our communities silence and marginalize the different, not recognizing we are all different, we all need healing.

We all need a voice.

Many, many people suffer because they have been deprived of a voice.

One summer years ago I took ASL. Part of our class assignment was to go to Union Station and pretend to be deaf and mute. It was a valuable exercise. To see how servers responded to my verbal powerlessness…who was kind? Who was impatient?

Jesus heals the man in a very visceral way–he puts his fingers in his ears, spits and touches the man’s tongue and then sighs deeply as he commands the healing.

Why?

He could raise the dead from a distance, why such raw physicality?

Because Jesus speaks the language of each human heart. His physical actions are a form of sign language the man can understand.

Nobody talks like this guy. He is the Word made flesh.

He sets the captive free.

Team God

Acts 18:6,9-10 (NIV)
But when the Jews opposed Paul and became abusive, he shook out his clothes in protest and said to them, “Your blood be on your own heads! I am clear of my responsibility. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.” [9] One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. [10] For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.”

So let me get this straight–the monotheistic followers of Yahweh in Corinth roundly rejected Paul’s message of hope, but God said he should stay because He had many people in this city?

So God’s people were the polytheistic natives? So God knew people who belonged to Him in Corinth?

We treat our belief systems like our football allegiances. And it is wrong. You could be a big Ravens fan and not know Flacco personally, you cannot be a big Jesus fan and not know him personally.

That is to say–fall in love with Jesus. Whether you are Greek or Jewish, slave or free, rich or poor, bad or better, you gotta push past the abusive believers and hold onto the most amazing Man.

Most amazing indeed…

Me: The Prequel

So the woman’s little girl is suffering so she travels to a man reported to be different, miraculous.

When she finds him she begs.

And he calls her a dog?

Not promising, unless you know the man.

Know that he is love
Know that he is incisive
Know that he will give more for her life than anyone else.

Give it all, in fact.

J. taught me that words only matter when actions buttress them.

He taught me I was allowed to distrust empty words.

He is, after all, the word of God made real to us.

So he challenges the woman’s pride, nationality, and assumptions. He calls her out. And her answer has been the foundation of my motherhood for the past 17 years.

Don’t matter how you look
Don’t matter if you are pretty
Or even smell good…
Being a mama means you sacrifice your pride to keep your little ones safe.

No one safer than Jesus.

Dog Stories…

Mark 7:26-28 (NIV)
The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. [27] “First let the children eat all they want,” he told her, “for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” [28] “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “but even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.”

I used to see this story differently. I will talk about my used-to-see story separately: the Christian I used to be.

But for now I have to let the woman I am speak.

I have lived in countries where dogs were food. I have seen them wandering emaciated and lost on the street. Some dogs have a tough life.

But not our brothers’ dogs. Not my mother’s dogs.

My mother loves dogs more than me. It is a function of her askew thinking. So now when I see this conversation I see a woman who might plead for her little dog over the life of her daughter.

Hard to face.

Or my mother-in-law…

Who once refused to restrain a dog menacing her grandchild.

Strange choices. Unless you face the truth: in our country we are more comfortable advocating for the rights of dogs than children.

Worldwide the practice of sex-selected abortion is rampant. Our daughters are not safe. We do not plead for them anymore.

And my babies?

My father-in-law once refused his granddaughter a piece of meat from my plate. His anger was palpable and his misogyny extends beyond what is moral.

Small dogs get crumbs indeed.

In my family it is the little girls beneath the table, while the adults let the dogs ravage the meal.

Weddings where the dog is the maid of honor, and the children are not welcome at the table.

I will not go back. Please, God, protect my children from…

The dogs at the table.

All Our Happy Endings

Been readin’ some quotes–GK, CS, JC…the usual dudes, and then a couple off the beaten path.

Hitler, for instance, said that it was harder to overcome faith than knowledge.

And Christopher Hitchens recounting an anecdote about a Rwandan survivor who had lost everyone–her whole history and future wiped out.

Faith indeed, to say there is a God to answer that.

But I do believe, not in spite of the Hilters and Rwandas littering the floor of history. No. I believe because of them.

See– if adoption is a mirror of our relationship with God we should face the raw stink of the adoptees–us.

We stink.

We kill
We maim
We steal
We lie about it.
We do it again.

But that is the heart and soul of the story–a perfect and compassionate Parent adopts the worst kids in the universe.

A real mess.

Only His love can change us.
And it does.

But remember–no faking. He can tell when we are lying about the state of our deadly hearts.

And we are all gonna get a bath eventually–one way or the other…

Better the hands of Love

The second day

I remember people exclaiming that I had lost weight. When I told them why I had lost weight they would look stricken. It was a striking story.

But the truth was worse than I ever could explain.

I could get past the discomfort of being punched, kicked, and bitten by my adopted daughter. I could mitigate her curses..and her violent imaginary friend.

I could push through the shock and discomfort others felt when I told them our children had been abused by her brother, my adopted son.

I could live beneath the heavy weight of the years my children spent in the company of a child abuser.

But I could never adequately describe the devastation created by our own family and others we had known for years.

Family was the worst. They made excuses. Coddled the perps, lashed out at young, very young victims.

Some were dismissive. Some skeptical. Some cruel.

Even after years and deliberate distance, their reactions still shock me.

I can still describe the diet.

It is simple:

Eat sorrow where once there was bread

Eat loss where there used to be community

Eat anger in the place where the family should stand

In a circle around their littlest victim
Dogs for children.

Dogs. For. Children. Indeed.

The Syrian Woman

Mark 7:24-26 (NIV)
Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. [25] In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an evil spirit came and fell at his feet. [26] The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter.

This mama is one of my favorite people ever.

She was a Canaanite, a Syrian, a descendant of the mysterious Sea Peoples, but more than all that, she was a kick-butt mother.

Why?

She traveled to see Jesus. She took the time to find him and then she…

begged

She had no pride when it came to her beautiful daughter.

She knew what was priceless
And so did he.

Anatomy Lesson

Mark 7:20-23 (NIV)
He went on: “What comes out of a man is what makes him `unclean.’ [21] For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, [22] greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. [23] All these evils come from inside and make a man `unclean.’ ”

Think of this as your house
Or the room you rent somewhere
Clean, spare or messy
With or without a maid.

Now you are inside
This home you have made
A party for intimates–strange names
Evil Thoughts
Sits on the couch
Sexual Immorality stirs the drinks at the dinette
Theft, Murder, and Adultery scan your copious
Movie collection
You scan the crowd
Know all their names
After all you invited them here,
These friends with monster faces.

You realize
Perhaps too late
You cannot evict them
They hold the deed to your heart
Which is conveniently ensconced in a bowl surrounded by chips on the coffee table

Of the life you once assumed
Was yours
Alone

No more

People: not so sharp

Mark 7:14-15,17-20 (NIV)
Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. [15] Nothing outside a man can make him `unclean’ by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him `unclean.’ ” [17] After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. [18] “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him `unclean’? [19] For it doesn’t go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods “clean.”) [20] He went on: “What comes out of a man is what makes him `unclean.’

Oh, the Jews were serious about their dietary laws. Asking if they were dull was a bit of a slap. But Jesus has impeccable aim.

I read recently that my own navel is swarming with bacteria. Yuck! But they are my bacteria and I remain surprisingly calm.

The devastating upshot of Jesus’ rebuke focuses on the ease with which we humans can obsess over our navels and bludgeon our neighbors.

Justice is coming. The long arm of the Lord will fall on each of us. At that point our kinship with righteousness will matter far more than our lunch.

Clean is clean
Holy is fierce
And we?
Are dull indeed without him.