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About Elea Lee

Foster parent, adopting parent, family advocate, educator, homeschool parent

Message in a Bottle

Once a very wise person lost a child. Maybe children. He mourned because he loved them. so he came up with a plan. Put fire in the sky to guide them at night. Put smoke in the sky to guide them by day. Give them rules on something durable to keep them safe. Tell them from the beginning that you have a plan. Don’t worry, a plan of love.

Send messengers to remind them. Send someone like a son to find them. Document who you are and who they are. Leave a record of your love. Do everything because they are everything to you.

Understand that the story they are told about you may not be all true. Understand they may not want you in the end. Understand that no matter what no matter where no matter how, you will always love them. Because you are their dad. Because it is your nature.

Oh yeh, and write a book. Tell them in the book how much you love them. Pray they read it. Because it means everything.

If what i do ever seems a little crazy, remember that I am following that guy, that Wise Guy, so that one day I can tell my daughter face to face…

I have always loved you.

Human Value, eternal value

I went to a very nice garage sale–antiques, baroque paintings, wool rugs, impressive.

I found several sets of nesting dolls. I had a nesting doll when I was a kid. I had a very limited collection of toys so the Russian doll and her brood were always major players.

One set of dolls yesterday at the sale was a vividly painted set of irregularly shaped dolls-wider spherical base, smaller head.

Really amazing find at 5 dollars.

Then a lady came up to me and told me she really wanted the doll.

As a God-follower I knew I needed to assert her value over the doll, so I handed it over (a little ruefully).

When I still spoke in church I played a warm-up game sometimes. I would tell people to get out their change and either ask each other for the change or actively try to give their coins away.

In one version of the game you want the most stuff, in the other you want to give it all away.

I know which set of rules applies in the value of life–both.

Collect the treasure of love as much as possible.

Give away the things that won’t last.

Jesus says to hoard the treasure of heaven.

What does God treasure?

Love and us.

The New America

It has been over a week since the election and I continue to be shocked by the animosity in our political dialogue.

I recently read about a man who had told his four year old that people from the opposing party were brain damaged. I was not sure what shocked me more–that she was so young or that he was using brain damage as an epithet.

Other egregious examples: any racial insinuations, wrangling about birth certificates, and in general personal attacks against people who you disagree with on public issues.

Something terrible has happened to our political discourse. We treat opposing political viewpoints like mascots for football teams and then we elevate those teams to a status they have neither earned nor deserve. Then we vilify the opposing team.

This hurts us all, but no one more than our children. We justify bullying and prejudice in the name of political parties which have done nothing to earn our allegiance and we begin to view our neighbors as enemies?

Dangerous. We all need to work together–somehow.

To quote a beloved Carson McCuller’s title–the life you save may be your own.

Food Issues and social media

My house is a little messy but I am going to write 2000 words before I clean. Such is power of community. I need to keep my goal. I realized this goal/accountability thing was what I needed to keep food in its place.

So if you see random food on my fb page, I am posting food that I should have skipped or eaten in moderation.

I’ll keep you posted if it works long term.

So far it has helped a lot

Thank you!

Worried about abuse?

So you know someone who you think might be abused or in a bad situation?

If there is any serious danger call the police.

If there are warning signs sufficient to file a report with cps, file it

If you just have a bad feeling…

Be very inquisitive
Be emotionally supportive
Do research to gain more information
Provide non-material (no $) support
Food
Clothes
A good ear
Simple kindness
Any way you show an abused person they are valuable is love
And love never fails

Losing the Triplets

November 13th, 1998 was an uncharacteristically beautiful day in Beaver, PA. I can remember the day verbatim because it was the day I lost you
Triplet B
Little one
Fifteen year old girl now
No matter what happens
I will always love you
My precious foster child
You changed everything
And losing you
Was like a total eclipse
Of the sun

My brief war with a chicken and keeping off the dogs

I was at a friend’s house and she had some chickens. Cute. Free range. But the neighboring chickens were not just cute and free range, they were aggressive.

One attacked my friend’s chicken. I reached for the back wing of the aggressive chicken and pulled it away from it’s prey.

Not a big deal, a quick calculation of size and risk. I was pretty sure I could take the chicken.

I don’t like guns and wars are nightmarish. But there are times when it is criminal to stand by and do nothing while Rwanda or Mali burns.

I learned this from history.

I lived in Germany as a child, Panama as a teen, Asia–all places deeply influenced by conflict and injustice.

I would say the best way to stop war is for the individual in society to advocate for the civil rights of each individual–children, victims of crime, the hungry.

But we don’t
Long before someone puts a gun in our hands and tells us we have to fight
We are chicken.

Church for the stubborn hearted

We do the parable of the king who invites people to a wedding feast for his son. People ignore the invitation so he finds street people to come. There are some messengers hurt and killed in the process.

When the indigent dudes get ready for the clambake (uh, wedding) one is wearing his beat up, stinking work clothes. The king asks why he has not changed into the provided wedding clothes.

He was oppositional defiant and didn’t feel like it.

So he got kicked out into darkness with “weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

We talk about the messengers–prophets who told the truth and got hurt for it.

My daughter, who was five when we discovered and stopped what was happening to her, begins to tear up as she talks about the church and friends and family who could not handle our story.

We cherish those who did.

It is a hard thing to tell the truth and lose your community.

It is a harder thing to lie and lose your soul.

Writing Therapy

I have been writing a lot this month and today I thought–ugh, I don’t want to write. I also did not really want to tackle bills, letters, grammar instruction or going to the store.

Gives me a headache just writing it all down.

But I know that writing is good for me. It forces me to own my thoughts and organize them. It results in a greater sense of control. All the things I dread are still there but now they are neatly ordered by want, need and fear.

It is the fear group that concerns me. Each of them is an unblinking carnivore, taking it’s place in line with all the other monsters

..waiting to devour my soul.