Author Archives: Elea Lee

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About Elea Lee

Foster parent, adopting parent, family advocate, educator, homeschool parent

When the world hurts

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My daughter has a winsome smile, a keen wit, a sharp eye for chess and a knack for Shakespeare.

She is also a crime victim.

Grief stalks us all. We lose people we love to death, cancer, accidents…

We need to be honest and admit that grief and pain stalk us all.

We need someone to save us. Someone who will stay with us through the pain and help pick up the pieces.

Some willing to be lonely and misunderstood with us. To stay with us through it.

Jesus cried out His ultimate loneliness on the Cross so we would not have to face this broken world alone.

What if it was Scout?

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I think it is safe to say I love Harper Lee. So much so I named a pet “Scout” and have been itching to name a kid Harper for a decade.

Atticus has seen me through some tough times.

But here’s the thing, because of my outspoken telling of our family story (adoption, RAD, abuse) I know a lot of victims of child sexual abuse.

Most are white, stable, well-educated and financially stable.

They are not Mayella Ewing.

And yet I believe the reason why 90% of these people are extremely quiet about their stories is the grim stereotype associated with Mayella.

Think about it. How would our perception of abuse victims be different if it had been Scout, Jem, or Dill who had been abused?

Would you tell your story if you knew people would think of you as a Ewing?

Would you fight any harder if it were Scout?

And, for a diehard TKM fan this is hard; Mayella Ewing deserved better. From her wretched father of course, but how about everyone else in Maycomb? Was there no one who could have helped her?

More than 50 years later I will say it–
No
At least very, very few…

Sabbath lessons

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I used to preach. Seems weird to me now because those sermons, talks and exhortations all exist beyond the scrim of discovering that my children (and their friends) had been, were being sexually abused by my adopted son, Charles.
By the time the abuse was revealed I had already quit because Em was having lots of problems. Charles just finished the deal.

All this to say that following Jesus is not about hearing or preaching sermons. It is about living the life of God in His wake and in His love.

Harder than a sermon, as elemental as a preschool lesson–

1. Ask Him to pour out
His love all over you

And
2. Pour it out on others

Treasure

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She found herself gazing at the child.

Dragons are accustomed to solitary places. Her heart was creased and caged by the years she had lived.

In her mind she could see her life stretched out in a long train of high haunts and gleaming fortresses. She was no longer proud of the way she could make men run in fear and trembling when she came to the breaches and swooped down to take their treasure–gold, jewels, bolts of silk and brocade. Before she had brooded over it like a nesting bird, but now her gaze had shifted.

Now she watched the boy. He supplanted all thoughts of other treasure. In times past she would run her scaly claws through the things she owned, anxious to keep things. Now she wish–ached to be able to take all of it to Someone–someone who could with power and promise keep this child safe–from the darkness in the world she knew too well.

They say

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They say that God Himself designed the space between a mother and her child. It is the perfect distance for the eyes of a child, focused on a love that should anchor them to a fixed point in an unfixed universe.

The bond of a mother with a nursing child establishes the language of the unspoken, irrevocable promise–I am here and because I am here you are safe.

–Dame NP Doxia, A Dragon’s Guide to Raising the Human Child, pg. 7b

The inhabitants

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Of heaven will be fierce
With the smudgy lines of
Zinc oxide slashed across their faces
War paint angels
Colorful
is that food coloring?
No. But it is washable
After play time
After recess
After our snack of apples cut in even slices
Rich in a new color–
colors
Vivid
Will be my new name
When I get there
I will use the injunction you taught me (joy)
C’mon, let’s go play

About the sword

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Some days I almost forget it is there
Protruding as it does
Through my sternum
La-la-la I think
For about, um, 30 seconds…
Then it all comes back

When you say oh, I don’t do that anymore
Like it was a hobby you grew out of
Or…oh, the movie was fun
Like you are at summer camp with your pals

I must breathe
Which hurts the freaking sword
In-my-chest
When you..
When you..

Oh that is right
You don’t remember

Or

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You will need to barter or hire wet nurse services from a suitable goat, sheep, or human mother. The former are a powerful temptation (as they are delicious either au natural or roasted) and the latter tend to look askance at the whole endeavor.

Either way it is essential that baby is held and nurtured constantly which means the diligent dragon parent will have to curtail extraneous treasure hunting and um, forego red meat in general.

Your diet will be altered in the process, but remember, these wee humans are worth the effort.