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Author Archives: Elea Lee
When the heartbeat in question means the whole world
I don’t have time to write this blog. My house is chaos, I am behind in my “day job,” and my adopted granddaughters live with us now.
Both girls have been through fires, literally and figuratively.
As I see headlines about the Texas heartbeat law, I cannot stop thinking about what an appalling loss to me and the world entire it would be if they were not here.
They, like all my kids, light up my world. If one were missing, the loss would be unbearable.
That is what the rhetoric hides–each child saved from abortion is a
Little girl twirling in a princess dress
A little boy looking for spiny lizards
A child who knows grownup words long before they should
An irreplaceable light in the darkness.
Let our voices soar
Lately I have gone on a couple wild tears. The first was polite enough–peppering officials at a local university with questions about how they plan to keep the community safe with in-person classes as local hospitals stay overwhelmed?
In one email I hastily typed out “soar” for sore. As in sore throat/soar like an eagle. I admit it looked “off” to me, but danged if I was gonna slow down for editing!
And again today, when I was questioning a pharmacist about why she would happily fill prescriptions for abortifacients to end lives but not ivermectin to potentially save them.
The chemicals and pharmaceutical names in death-inducing agents like RU-486 are pronounceable if you really focus, but I find it difficult to focus on them, difficult to write or say them.
I spelled them out for her, aware of her disdain. I can live with that, quite easily really, as long as I have done what I can to try
To squeak out some protest, any protest which might make it hard for her or anyone
To kill instead of heal.
The Creepy Sports Car
A friend who lives in another state told me–
She drives by a pharmacy in her town and recently noticed a shiny new BMW with a personalized license plate which read COVID parked there each day during business hours.
No one should celebrate the economic boost caused by the deaths of more than 600,000 Americans.
First, Do No Harm
I live in New Braunfels, Texas and I routinely call pharmacies about a variety of drugs, including ivermectin.
Pharmacists at one of the local CVS pharmacies and two local Walgreens have refused to fill prescriptions for ivermectin for combatting active Covid infections. They say that it is not approved by the FDA. One pharmacist told me they won’t even stock it.
By contrast, these pharmacies reported that they do stock and sell drugs which end pregnancies-abortifacients.
So, it could be said that here in New Braunfels, it is easier to convince some pharmacists to help end your pregnancy than it is to save your own life.
Cry, Havoc!
What Angels Do
Daniel 10:12-14 KJV
[12] Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words. [13] But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me one and twenty days: but, lo, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me; and I remained there with the kings of Persia. [14] Now I am come to make thee understand what shall befall thy people in the latter days: for yet the vision is for many days.
We have so misunderstood and utterly misrepresented
What angels do
Who they are
Or how they might appear
(While surely they might be anyone–
Women, children, the dispossessed)
They stand their ground
Fight for us
Maybe when it would seem
We are otherwise entirely
Abandoned
Restraint
What if there was no other choice? Or if the pain were even more protracted than this? This, after all, is mild
The woman in the windowless room notes there are no children in the pictures from the Kabul airport–where are all the children?
And in my attempt to swim off my fear and grief and anger, the lightning storm descends
So close to water, no rain
Songs from the Nerdy Guy
I have friend who is an aficionado of romance. I am too old for that stuff myself, but I tell her that
Jesus is like the nerdy guy who likes you at the lunchroom table you should sit at but what will the cool kids think?
Yep. I am way past cool kids and would argue that if that were a thing, the guy who pays it all for us would have to be the coolest one of us all
But he is ok being
The nerdy guy who
Sends us love songs
All the time
Paper Bag Analogies
It is scary not being able to breath properly. It looks like you have Covid lung the doctor said, congestive heart failure…
My husband told my daughters what pills to give me and when, bypassing me entirely because the lack of oxygen meant fatigue and fuzzy thinking
I had put my soul at the center of this. Dying was just a space in my peripheral vision, something that was going to be inevitable at the rate I was going.
I tried to sing these songs. Eventually I had to just sit in their presence while others sang.
I talked to Jesus about the pain and paper sack lungs. He told me he took the true agony of a pair of dying lungs so that I could be given
More time, heaven after
When I began to think I would actually live a little longer, I was still afraid to take it for granted
I had to talk myself into the river. Tell myself I could ease in, keep your head above water
When I could go under
Hold my breath
Swim again
I told Jesus I would never tell the story without full acknowledgement
He healed me. He gave me back my life at his own deep expense
His lungs for mine
