Category Archives: grief

The Strong Man’s House

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Some memories are picture clear. It is a day in late October and we are traveling in the van with my in laws to the Aransas wildlife refuge. I am attempting to school a known pedophile on the need for repentance.

We have reported the abuse. We lock doors at night to make the children feel safer. We are waiting and terribly broken.

The pedophile is merely annoyed. Sullen. We are discussing the human heart as though it were a house. A house Jesus could walk through, clean, excavate.

I remember this whenever I read

Mark 3:25-30 (NIV)
If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. [26] And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. [27] In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can rob his house. [28] I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. [29] But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.” [30] He said this because they were saying, “He has an evil spirit.”

… because Charles is the one who taught me…about the strong man’s house.

This parable can and will go either way. Either the strong man is hell plundered by Jesus or He is the strong man robbed on the cross.

Which is it?

You can guess my opinion. I put my money on Jesus.

But for years I lived in that divided house, torn by my adopted children’s violence and anger.

Don’t wanna go back. Don’t wanna live that way no more.

Divided house; broken heart.

Jyoti Singh Pandey

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I stand in honor of this young woman and her grieving family. Like many mothers all over the world I grieve with them and all Indians who are dismayed and outraged that any woman or girl anywhere in the world is in danger–on a bus, on the street, at a party, in a police station, in a hospital.

We who are not Indian should take careful note–the way we react to protect the vulnerable in our culture can, will, and should define us.

Forever.
In honor of her death we all must do better.

Her family is in my prayers
I pray for justice.

The cowboy and the judge

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Mark 2:1-12 (NIV)
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. [2] They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. [3] Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. [4] Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. [5] When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” [6] Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, [7] “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” [8] Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? [9] Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? [10] But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, [11] “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” [12] He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”

I love this story and I especially love the way it is portrayed in the movie The Miracle Maker, so I have been somewhat puzzled by why I could not finish this story. I have talked about it numerous times. It is not that complicated.

This is a story about waiting with or without hope. It is a story about faith and urgency. It is a story about love, value and forgiveness. And it is a story about willfully refusing to see.

Someone I love has a prominent tattoo on his chest. He likes to go shirtless a lot so it is easy to see. It says,

only God can judge me

His tattoo is true, but somehow incomplete. What it is missing is any understanding of love, fear, and holiness.

Love carries the man to Jesus
Love pushes through the crowd
Love punches through the roof
Love lowers the mat
Love forgives the man his sins
Love heals the man on the mat
Love never fails
But…
When love shows his power and his judgment.
You better duck.

Because the guy who crushed the gates of hell and death for us?
He don’t play, cowboy, he sure don’t play.

Entertaining Angels

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The sheer mind-bending stress of being your foster mom led to iconic images lodged in my head–

You two sitting across the table from me the first day I met you. Sizing me up over peanut butter sandwiches.

You eyeing your brother suspiciously. A lot.

You waking up one night when he woke up screaming (night terrrors) and looking at him with sleepy exasperation and then flopping down in relief when I scooped him up and took him to another room to ride out the storm–your body language was not my problem, back to sleep.

One night when you were ready for bed in your winter jammies. Your hair curly and adorable. I tickled you and you giggled, for a rare moment of laughter and peace.

You can be angry at me all you want. But you can’t stop love.

Your other mom

The whole town gathered at his door

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Mark 1:32-34 (NIV)
That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. [33] The whole town gathered at the door, [34] and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

His door?
The whole town gathered at his door?

It is a beautiful image–a crowd of people. Some have bunions or arthritis, others have problems with acne or depression. Some might be paralyzed, others deaf or blind. They would have had cancer, depression, disease.

In the course of a 24 hour period a man has a demonic outburst in church and then the whole town sees/hears/responds to Jesus healing power by trucking out their infirmities.

A very good thing.

Imagine if the story went like this–

They saw what Jesus did for the demon possessed man but they did not want their neighbors to know about their weaknesses, illness, and grief, so they stayed home. Pretended they didn’t have any problems. Died prematurely.

Welcome to the American Christianity. Sure, we have hand sanitizer and flu shots now….But the truth is you have to have the courage, honesty, and desperation to admit you have a problem if you want to get healed.

I have a problem. I do not trust easily anymore. I used to be very trusting. Too trusting, you could say. But then that trust was broken, not by one or two people but a lot of people and my children were hurt. I watch my children in pain.

The loneliness and grief can seem overwhelming. So every day I go to Jesus’ door and I wait for him to heal me.

And he does, thank God.

A whacky miracle

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Mark 1:23-28 (NIV)
Just then a man in their synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit cried out, [24] “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!” [25] “Be quiet!” said Jesus sternly. “Come out of him!” [26] The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek. [27] The people were all so amazed that they asked each other, “What is this? A new teaching—and with authority! He even gives orders to evil spirits and they obey him.” [28] News about him spread quickly over the whole region of Galilee.

I have heard that Beethoven added percussive elements to his fifth symphony because he was tired of people drifting off. Do not know if that is true, but I do know that a rousing case of demon possession will wake you up in church.

The first question: why is this guy in church, possessed? Wouldn’t you think the demon would have steered clear of Jesus?

Ultimately no one steers clear of him. He says we will all face him either in love or judgment.

I once saw something like this happen in a very large church outside DC. A man stood in the morning service (hundreds of affluent parishioners) and began shouting at the pastor.

He was ushered to the foyer and as he talked to the escorting deacons he began to take his clothes off at which point a man of action (former marine) put him in a headlock until EMS arrived.

Memorable. But this story is extraordinary.. Jesus makes the demon leave. He doesn’t need either a marine or EMS.

We watch too many horror movies when in truth real life is full of ordinary horror.

Demons do go to church and sometimes they appear to run the show–not with loud exclamations but with quiet joylessness, fear, envy, lust, and greed.

How does the story change if the man with the demon is just an ordinary guy? How about if he seems quiet and earnest and tends to participate in Sunday school? How about if the demon is just the spirit attached to fear, lust, or pride?

What do you want to be free from? And what do you want to be set free to do?

These questions shape our souls. The answers are of eternal significance.

The story to the bone

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Mark 1:16-20 (NIV)
As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. [17] “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” [18] At once they left their nets and followed him. [19] When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. [20] Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.

Let me just put the modernist paraphrase on this–an itinerate carpenter sees some dudes with legit jobs and tells them to quit them for an unvarnished Ponzi scheme.

I once got in trouble for trying to rid a church of a Ponzi scheme…those were good times.

Today this sentence popped into my head–kindness is it’s own reward.. I thought, not really…. Avarice, power-mongering and Viagra are their own rewards.

Kindness is a discipline practiced with one eye trained on eternity.

Same with this story. Take 12 grown men with decent jobs and make them penniless outlaws for a quack story about Resurrection? That is bad economics.

That is Jesus. What He calls us to leave is as important as what He calls us to pursue.

He says–

leave your life to gain it

and

take up your cross and follow me…

If he is wrong we are fools. If he is right….
Run to Him.

Mark: the superhero gospel

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My young son loves superheroes, none more than Batman. With a generous amount of fast forwarding through schmaltz, I have been watching the latest Batman movie. I keep thinking it is a star-studded bloated mess. I also think that there are few movies worth perishing for and that the disaster in Colorado is all the more tragic when the film is all soulless violence.

Mark, by contrast, is the superhero gospel. People often note how fast the narrative moves and how time and action drive the story.

Mark 1:13-15 (NIV)
and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him. [14] After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. [15] “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!”

We are still in the first chapter and we ask these questions–
wild animals and angels?
John in chains?
And how near, exactly, this kingdom?

The King. The king is who you want to follow. All the way to the end of the only true superhero story that has ever mattered.

Memorial Stones

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We live in a party culture. We buy things on time. We are more likely to joke about the grim reaper on Halloween than face the devastation of death–especially tragic, violent death.

This year some of my friends lost family members. At least one death was a homicide. Lives were changed forever and I know that my friends carry their grief. I carry it with them.

I posted the report for this blog because I have been thinking about a baby girl named Toryn Buckman. She was brutally tortured and murdered. Just a baby.

Someone out there mourns for this little one, but can any of us face the statistics? Several thousand children die each year as the result of child abuse in the US alone.

Any country that is so dangerous for children is…not safe for anyone.