What if it was Scout?

I think it is safe to say I love Harper Lee. So much so I named a pet “Scout” and have been itching to name a kid Harper for a decade.

Atticus has seen me through some tough times.

But here’s the thing, because of my outspoken telling of our family story (adoption, RAD, abuse) I know a lot of victims of child sexual abuse.

Most are white, stable, well-educated and financially stable.

They are not Mayella Ewing.

And yet I believe the reason why 90% of these people are extremely quiet about their stories is the grim stereotype associated with Mayella.

Think about it. How would our perception of abuse victims be different if it had been Scout, Jem, or Dill who had been abused?

Would you tell your story if you knew people would think of you as a Ewing?

Would you fight any harder if it were Scout?

And, for a diehard TKM fan this is hard; Mayella Ewing deserved better. From her wretched father of course, but how about everyone else in Maycomb? Was there no one who could have helped her?

More than 50 years later I will say it–
No
At least very, very few…

Sabbath lessons

I used to preach. Seems weird to me now because those sermons, talks and exhortations all exist beyond the scrim of discovering that my children (and their friends) had been, were being sexually abused by my adopted son, Charles.
By the time the abuse was revealed I had already quit because Em was having lots of problems. Charles just finished the deal.

All this to say that following Jesus is not about hearing or preaching sermons. It is about living the life of God in His wake and in His love.

Harder than a sermon, as elemental as a preschool lesson–

1. Ask Him to pour out
His love all over you

And
2. Pour it out on others

Treasure

She found herself gazing at the child.

Dragons are accustomed to solitary places. Her heart was creased and caged by the years she had lived.

In her mind she could see her life stretched out in a long train of high haunts and gleaming fortresses. She was no longer proud of the way she could make men run in fear and trembling when she came to the breaches and swooped down to take their treasure–gold, jewels, bolts of silk and brocade. Before she had brooded over it like a nesting bird, but now her gaze had shifted.

Now she watched the boy. He supplanted all thoughts of other treasure. In times past she would run her scaly claws through the things she owned, anxious to keep things. Now she wish–ached to be able to take all of it to Someone–someone who could with power and promise keep this child safe–from the darkness in the world she knew too well.

They say

They say that God Himself designed the space between a mother and her child. It is the perfect distance for the eyes of a child, focused on a love that should anchor them to a fixed point in an unfixed universe.

The bond of a mother with a nursing child establishes the language of the unspoken, irrevocable promise–I am here and because I am here you are safe.

–Dame NP Doxia, A Dragon’s Guide to Raising the Human Child, pg. 7b

About the sword

Some days I almost forget it is there
Protruding as it does
Through my sternum
La-la-la I think
For about, um, 30 seconds…
Then it all comes back

When you say oh, I don’t do that anymore
Like it was a hobby you grew out of
Or…oh, the movie was fun
Like you are at summer camp with your pals

I must breathe
Which hurts the freaking sword
In-my-chest
When you..
When you..

Oh that is right
You don’t remember

Or

You will need to barter or hire wet nurse services from a suitable goat, sheep, or human mother. The former are a powerful temptation (as they are delicious either au natural or roasted) and the latter tend to look askance at the whole endeavor.

Either way it is essential that baby is held and nurtured constantly which means the diligent dragon parent will have to curtail extraneous treasure hunting and um, forego red meat in general.

Your diet will be altered in the process, but remember, these wee humans are worth the effort.

The Dragon’s Book…

Introduction

Greetings, my name is Naga Proserpina Doxia but please, call me Auntie Naga or even Auntie P. We dragon folk can be a cantankerous and saturnine bunch. I aim to change that, I am to change a lot of things.

That was how the good book started. The Dragoness flipped through it’s pages looking at chapter headings, the intricate illustrations and diagrams, pages with neatly organized lists of things: this treasure trove of information.

It was as though Auntie P had anticipated this very situation– the lone haunt, the solitary dragon, the sleeping infant. The world entire.

The Draconian Guide…

When she found it she knew. The title (poorly translated from the Greek) was “The Draconian Guide to Raising Humans”

Now, while the Dragon herself felt that Draco was a positive figure in the aggregate history of human government, she was not sure how his stringent moral law would help her find nourishment for a baby.

So she was vastly and conspicuously relieved when she opened the book (only slightly singed) and found original talon-drawn illustrations and a surprisingly maternal self-portrait of the author–Naga P. Doxia. It appeared that this esteemed authoress and dragoness had pioneered a little known and even less understood movement to foster understanding and community between dragons and humans.

Dame Naga had put forth the idea that when human population experienced paroxysms of orphanage, dragons should fill the gap. This was a controversial prospect from the outset. The dragon communities felt that their benevolence would be mistaken for usurpage or worse yet, kidnapping. They were a solitary and cloistered folk, and the scrutiny and prospect of intrusion and misunderstanding filled them with a grim and slithery fear.

And the humans? They took immediate and vociferous umbrage at the idea entirely!

Yet, Doxia had persevered, doggedly pursuing her trifold goals of fostering understanding, writing about her passion, and adopting actual human children. It was the last of course which drove and illuminated the others.

It was a thoroughly engrossing read.

What she finds…

Several soft blankets
Bolts of fabric of varies types and weights
Several sets of ornate nesting dolls
A compass and a globe
Several deep rugs and tapestries
A silver brush

None of this seemed to quite fit the need of the moment. What did this tiny child need now? Surely not a compass or a brush or even nesting dolls. He needed to nest like a tiny bird. He needed to be held and loved. But sometime quite soon he would need nourishment. What would she do about that? What else would she need to provide for him?

She continued to search through the things she had gathered. Finally she found the scrolls, the books which lay in a haphazard pile next to several piles of doubloons and other coinage scavenged mostly through dim sun-spooked dives into the wreckage of ships downed by storms, rocks and buccaneers.

Books. This would take some time. Could she find some treatise or guide about raising this small child?

She would need to find something quickly. She began to sort through the books, careful to breath slowly, as softly as possible so that she would neither disturb the child nor singe the books.