his button-down shirt matched the color of his gun and his ten-gallon hat matched his jeans as he brandished his weapon with bravado in the the store-of-lost-things on the corner of the city named for the patron saint of them, poor Native Americans, at some point the irony of namesakes and saints’ days and lost things must have haunted them the way it haunts me as the Nissan with the cat inside next to the bustling night school faces its own lost place on the street named for flowers where a brown bottle will spread its broken pieces like water pooled on the edge of the sidewalk, so close to art, so close to lost on the very edge of the world
Category Archives: Poetry
Mum’s Day 1998
they will say focus on the positive they will say at least you gave her a good beginning they will say we have 25 families waiting, better than you like this is some kind of beauty pageant for adoptive families?
…which was a weird lie of sorts…maybe there were 25 families …maybe 5000…in the end it was only necessary to know that it was never about the hypothetical 25, always about the avaricious pair, or pairs, -on-the-ark-come-two-by-two pairs of caseworkers, pairs of administrators, pairs of lawyers, pairs of accountants, coupling, uncoupling back and forth around a central lie, a few broken laws, and Entropy, the Mother-god, chained to the loss chained to the chaos of the loss…of her babies.
What was it
what was it, mute, inanimate object perched on the counter in the messy late-night kitchen as she finally sweeps up the spilled beans, tosses them out into the night, contemplates both what usually lurks there and if they will grow, sprout, tangle up into vines, vines to block the sun, spin to the clouds where the approximate-rhythmic giant dwells, mocking science, mocking long-dead Darwin, Glutton-clubbing, maggot-and-squirrel devouring Darwin whose mortal life has coiled to dust but whose immortal one is hot, vivid, fierce
Survival of the fittest…
Meerschaum Rings in an inky sky
The last ember in this summer fire so resembles the unblinking moon tonight a slitted serpent’s eye obscured behind smoke-ring clouds spun from the hookah pipe of a caterpillar long-gone-butterfly, God of flight pulling forth a clear phonology from nightingales who form signal fires with words of love and danger for what is in the night.
A lexicon for grief
how many words for snow
how many words for rice or rain or storms
We humans and our specificity
Yet no words for listening
Hearing you
Being there, holding on, loving you
Looking into….
Oops! Already well into
Greeting card territory
When what a body needs is those…those
Ladies in the black organza
Wailing in the streets.
Where are they? When we need them so?
All those things we need them to
Do
Be
Say, not say, feel
a new vocabulary
Esperanto for grievers
Words for here I am with you (ret)
Just being here for you (ghurt)
You are not alone (hyop)
Breathing here with you (fppt…)
There are empty rooms and rooms for more
Make more. More for all the ways
I will be with you in silence
Letters strung together for the careful listener
Unspoken I am with you
Through the storm.
To my esteemed humanist friend,
I confess
I was angry at first
At real atrocities ignored and
fictions so promiscuously embraced
But then I thought heck
So what if she mixes her metaphors? Or fails to tally the cost
Of a world unmoored by love?
Instead
I have this one
Abiding, hypothetical
Question-
Haven’t you ever been afraid that this triune omnipotent
God of love
Might be just like
Dustin Hoffman in the penultimate
scene of The Graduate?
Pounding on the outside
(yes, the outside)
of the church, calling your name as you
Marry the wrong guy?
And if you do-
(what if you do!?)
Who will be there
By your side on the bus to forever?
This Lovely
I have never told any of them I can see you
You standing in the corner
You deprived of the…nice guy/cute kids
…chance to believe
I will never be…
good enough for your oppa
Long hair, pale skin, face as beautiful as lost place, younger sister
This lovely
Ghost in the room
of us.
John 20:16
Feminism for ordinary stones
After giving the human mothers ample time to choose
The-would-be-has-been-will-be-stone-mover turned to this sea of
quiet rocks
Paced among them
Raised his arms wide
And spoke words of life over them-
Sing, cry, stomp, holler, embargo, resist, advocate, articulate…raise
these your newborn voices
for all these
very little girls
curled without defense-
half-a-billion muted, crucial
Question marks
as each loses
one simple, brutal
Round of rock-paper-scissors
in this place we have marked “private”
then left alone.
Thin (Fake news:real girls)
After the 911 call, the sirens, the knocked-in door. After the 2-for-1 autopsy, the souping-out of ballistic shards in layers of mother, curls of child. After the sewing up, the tissue samples, temporary storage in this antiseptic place.
After this near-final totem of mother-and-child.
the cool and empty morgue fills with an emanation of light, softly cupped voices, perfumed flurry, fairy godmothers. A little late she thought as they scooped and coddled the baby-little late she thought as they lifted her from the crook of each bent elbow, inexplicably washed and free of blood. Here child, they murmur, try on this, try on that. Blur of organza and tulle.
After the day she’s had she goes along with all the fuss. Come on, child, carriage is waiting!
And there they all are bippity, boppity, boop! Apartment lot for courtyard, uncajolable vermin with no intention of donning livery or pulling pumpkins. No signs of princes.
Unfazed she realizes that even here, in the weird, magic-less limbo yonder, even here the grownups believe in magical fairytales..
which still end up
doing no good for the real girls
Living then dying
Alone.