When I was young and pretty we became foster parents. We met children for short and long times. Some stayed for years and some I wished had stayed longer.
Veronica was the baby we loved so much and were forced to relinquish. We offered to adopt all of her siblings. Destiny was her older sister, a beautiful little girl who had been through a lot by the time I met her.
Her mom died a few years ago and she contacted me, angry that I had written about her mom without really knowing her faults.
I knew some of her faults, but still cared about her and mourned when she died.
Destiny died the same way her mom did on Easter Sunday.
She was a beautiful young woman like her mother and her sisters.
What can I say? What can I do?
We all live flawed lives, but we still matter. We leave holes in the world for what was and what could have been.
The argument simmered under the surface for years. The paternity of the little girl was questioned by her (alleged) paternal grandmother.
I don’t know how many times she made the argument, but when I talked to her all her sons were still living. She said the girl was the child of the identical twin brother.
Which either way woulda made her the grandma…
She is my little girl now
I don’t like what happened to her mom in either life or death.
But I am grateful she is here with me
Matthew 21:37-40 KJV
 But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.  But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.  And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.  When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?
Flap and mourn old biddies
Raise your dark lament
Hinnom howl all
The children we have
I think about his robe, his beautiful, seamless robe. Like the Cross, its molecular integrity is gone by now–not in a cathedral somewhere, not in a tomb. They cast lots for it, so as not to destroy its value,
A thrift store God–
A seamless robe
he paid full price
Lately he doesn’t seem to smile much, hardly a surprise when his latest hobby is world domination.
I pray for him, but how?
How do you pray for a monster?
By acknowledging we are all monsters, only some monsters do not obey the voices in our heads which
Reduce cities to rubble and children to dust.
The advice is simple–
You are a man, just a man
And you are dying
You cannot, no,will not, outrun God
Repent and change
Leave everything but your soul behind and say you are sorry for what you have done
Replace your illusions of control with the acknowledgement of your weakness
For we are all monsters here
Debtors all to grace
I have been some sort of follower of Jesus my whole life and I never looked up the meaning of “lent” until this morning.
It means to elongate or lengthen and it refers to the passage of days in spring into summer. It means the spring season.
Ironically, this makes me feel better about all the years my arbitrary Lenten prohibitions have been less than fulfilled to the letter of the law.
Lent is grace.
I remember teaching at a community college in Maryland and looking at the sky in early March. I could see how the light lasted a little longer each day before the evening classes for adult learners.
I had a Russian student who had or feigned a crush on me. I see him holding roses with the evening sun behind him. For almost thirty years I have thought of that acknowledgment of lent in the days when winter starts to lose its sway and light stretches forth.
What does Jesus want from lent? What does he want from us?
He wants our full passion and attention. He wants us to walk in the light.
Psalm 9:8-11 KJV
 And he shall judge the world in righteousness, he shall minister judgment to the people in uprightness.  The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.  And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.  Sing praises to the Lord, which dwelleth in Zion: declare among the people his doings.
Psalm 104:2-6 KJV
 Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain:  Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind:  Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire:  Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever.  Thou coveredst it with the deep as with a garment: the waters stood above the mountains.
Hebrews 12:1-3 KJV
 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,  Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross
, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.