… (also old)
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Freestyle—an old poem
Sometimes we drive in the dark
Every once upon a time I take the girls
Driving in the dark
We look for places to call home–ramshackle garage, vape shop, dry cleaner with its window smashed
In the apocalypse there is still no
Room left in the inns of the world they ask
Why did she have to stick the needle in her arm? Why did she stick the needle in her arm? What was it about the needle that
Caused us to lose her?
The little one has poured her anger out over her minders all afternoon
Unwilling to face what it costs them
So I try to de Bergerac her through the necessary obsequities
I tell her I will whisper the words and she will shout–
I’m sorry
I’m sorry!
I’m sorry I was mean before
I’m sorry I was mean before
I was working out my grief
I was working out my grief
And sometimes there is anger in grief
And sometimes there is anger in grief
She has such a comical little girl voice
But when she says these things I know what God means
When He whispers in my ear
Altos De Betania
John 1:26-28 NIV
[26] “I baptize with water,” John replied, “but among you stands one you do not know. [27] He is the one who comes after me, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.” [28] This all happened at Bethany on the other side of the Jordan, where John was baptizing.
I was once set free in Bethany, so far from Jerusalem the rainy season fills the streets into rivers and the dry season ignites the hills, black ash a veil, a shroud over all
Who are you?
In the house of figs and sadness, blessed are the poor in spirit who
Know they cannot raise themselves to life
Let all the other signifiers change for us
To Lazarus to life
Across the vault of the sky
The white birds appear as points of light in the river until they can be heard
They obey parliamentary procedures for the most part until ordinary words are not enough
Then they either
Fly
Across the vault of the sky lights rise and fall, signaling splendor
Morning and evening
And it was so.
Genesis 1:20 NIV
[20] And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.”
Sleeper, Awake
I hope mommy is sleeping in heaven, she says
No. I say, she is dancing and singing in heaven
People don’t sleep in heaven
I wish I were in heaven she says
We have work here for now, I say. That is why we have God time–sing and dance
So we are ready for heaven
When it comes
Lanterns to release in air
She wore a soft, pink sweater (her sister bought) as though the cool chill of October could touch her anymore and the small group of people gathered at her ad hoc memorial are floating up as the sky darkens
The ashes and the pink sweater and the flash of inexplicable light get me again and again
I have to conjure some litany for this–
Sprite, fly
Luminesce
Alight upon yonder shore
King Lear Large Print
For years I have wondered if I would see you there
In Heaven
When so many of the things you have said to me
Seem so tragically
infernal
King Lear, Large Print
Mermaid
Grief been here before–Target was closed and we drove
In my presbyopia I could not identify the man or his freaked out dog
Who can tell between Sirens and mermaids? They are both capable of artifice and the old-fashioned waterborne howl in
Such dark waters
I swim back to the day
The park
Beauty all around
And fast food wedding feast
Pregnant bride vomiting while
Someone took money from the medic’s bag
How did we drive back across that precipitous bridge?
All I can do is elide the best of you with
What will be
What must and shall
Be.
John 2:5 KJV
[5] His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it .
