Once
There was the statue
Of a girl
Standing arms outstretched
Poised/face lifted
To reach the rain
Receiving Grace
I looked for her again
Years ago
They had taken her away
I am crying/she is missing
And all I can do is call to her
Come back
My heartbreaking daughter
Come back to the Garden
Of stones alive and flowers
Blooming now
The rain has come
You will say to me
Why are you grieving?
And I will show you the limp form
In my hands
You will ask
What is it?
And I will say
A dead salamander
You will say
They cannot live for long
And I will say
But it had a name–
I cannot say it
And you will ask
What is the big deal?
And I will tell you
Hope.
But what I will not say is that the prone and lifeless
Body of a man
Too easily resembles
This ephemeral creature
The day I spent for him
The last day I spent for him
Looking for a hat
Big enough to cover his fatal
Head injury
Fatal head injury
Never far from mind
The bodies of our dead.
There was a moment in time when I held them
My babies
Fear flooded my mind
So that the moment/the babies/the mother I was then
Is cut into amber
She breaths in and out deliberately
Wanting to shelter
These two little ones
From inevitable Monsters
I see the light
Pouring out
Over the lawn at night
The girls in their pretty
Dresses fan out in the lines
Demarcating light and darkness
Can you hear the haunting
Music?
I can
The strings of slow lament
The partygoers
Lurching toward the wrought
Iron gates
Boozy and fatigued
Wondering
who will show us the way home?
I ask him
Do you ever want to eat a
Peanut butter sandwich
Not because you are hungry
But because you are
Sad?
Yes. He says
And somehow this helps
Not because he is thin
And I am not
No.
Because the loss
The sandwich cannot heal
Must be faced
Hungry.
If I could give you
The safe place
Perfect butterfly,
Wings the color of sunlight
wave through the glass
If I could give you
The shape of the boy’s face
The cities he sees across the dammed
River
If I could give you the boats
Alone on the water
And the sheer drop
Carved from stone
If I could give you these things
In a bottle called forever
You would understand
How I failed him
today
How I failed her
yesterday
How I fear tomorrow
Arms not strong enough
Forever
http://thatdudeeddie.wordpress.com/
Check this dude out. He is in the growing pantheon of blogging poets and writers who give me hope in the darkness.
Thank you<3
Suddenly I see us
Traipsing in,
Blankets, flotsam of ourselves
Trailing behind us
We are like children
Dazed and shellshocked
By the dust of a falling world
Still crashing down
Behind us
But we are Here Now
And as we wipe the tears and soot
From our brand-new-eyes–
We recognize
This strong family
Resemblance in a sea/a star
Filled sky full of Light.
Pretend you are in a boat
Rescued (just barely?)
From a raging sea
Pretend you are cold, bereft, shot through by shock
Broken and gasping
For air
You wonder first
That you are
Alive at all is a miracle
A miracle
Blanket put around your shoulders
Will you ever be free?
Of the cold in your bones to your heart
Love speaks softly
Invading the darkness
Light as a feather
Down for warmth
Waterproof like the sleekwinged
Waterborne bird
You will fly
You will live
You will soar
Blanket of love
Salvation comes from salvage
Salve
Latin for to save
Redeem
Draw from deep water
Back to life again
Like the Once-dead Man rising
Again from the deep
Dragging us with Him
Back to life
What if I lost you?
What if you were not there?
What if one moment I saw you
And then blink
You
Were
Gone?
I ask myself these questions
With every beat of my heart
Knowing I have walked down these lonely roads before
Looking for the babygirlchild
Woman
I lost that day
no replacements found.
Carrying Light 