About Elea Lee

Foster parent, adopting parent, family advocate, educator, homeschool parent

No Justice for Amy

Posted on April 23, 2014 by Elea Lee

How can anyone quantify a childhood lost to sexual assault and exploitation?

That is the question I ask myself when I read about the recent decision by SCOTUS to limit damages payable to victims of child pornography.

Not only is there no justice in this country for the children victimized by these atrocities, there is also no legitimate attempt to provide financial compensation.

We do not want the burden?

We do not want the judicial red tape?

We are not asking the correct questions of ourselves and our federal government.

The question is simple and devastating–how much is the life of a child worth in this country?

And how do you put a price on justice?

Once again it is clear in America–Justice here is not blind to anything much except the rights of our most vulnerable citizens: our children.

A Letter to Cersei

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Elea Lee

I did not watch the depiction of your “fictional” rape, I hold that these depictions hurt real victims of rape and incest. And make no mistake–the real victims are all around us.

So forgive me if I address you as “real.” You are real to me because friends and relatives of mine are the victims of both rape and incest. Most shared their stories because I shared mine–

I adopted a son who broke my trust.

The lurid depiction of rape and incest for the purpose of making money, selling ad space, and entertainment is not ok. Never ok.

And if you were real this is what I would tell you–

Love protects.

Love covers and defends.

Love never violates trust.

And love demands justice, truth, and protection for the survivors of incest.

If you were real I would tell you call the police. Go to a doctor. Call me. I will be there through this nightmare of broken trust.

No one should view rape as entertainment. Ever. And what a terrible measurement of us, all of us, that we would tune in for your “fictional” rape and tune out to all those around us who are haunted by the grief and loneliness and pain caused by these real crimes in our so-broken world.

Easter is a Doorway

Posted on April 20, 2014 by Elea Lee

I read an article this morning about a little boy in Massachusetts who was gone for months before he was reported missing.

His body was found this week.

Stories about five year old murder victims whose whole lives were defined by abuse, neglect, and pain do not go with our Sunday best, our Easter celebration. These are hell stories.

These would remain hell stories without Jesus.

What Jesus does with the stories of lost children is what matters.

He takes the pain of broken lives.

He restores the impossible–life for death, peace for pain, love for hate.

The cost too high to calculate: he pays it.

So it doesn’t have to feel like Easter to me. I can face the loneliness of my own story–

Fostering the broken

Adopting the rebellious

Taking on the identity of the crimes committed against those I love.

No easy answers.

Just Jesus, alive, for me.

The Darkest Days

Posted on April 20, 2014 by Elea Lee

Jesus gave them plenty of warning–he said he was going to die. He warned of betrayal and grief. He told them things they did not want to hear.

Even so, the space between the last supper and the resurrection was almost unbearable.

Almost because he took the unbearable part.

Just short of unbearable.

That is the promise of Christian life–it might get pretty awful, but it will never be as awful as the atonement.

The grief of the disciples seems so dark. So painful. And their brokenness was pretty broken.

But

It is finished

And Sunday is one Son-rise away.

A Metaphor for You

Posted on April 16, 2014 by Elea Lee

You were the one
To tell me all the others did it too
With a percentage
A statistic
Because it is the way you roll

50% percent, eh?
Half of all you knew.
I took the statistic to the source
Never got an answer.

Not surprised…
Inclined to believe they, like you
Would tell the students

obey the patriarchal voice

And hell, eat your broccoli as well
As the water rises around us
To the end.

Divorcing Facebook

Posted on April 14, 2014 by Elea Lee

In all fairness to Facebook, I was a failure from the beginning.

I never posted a grumpy cat meme. I posted Bible verses. I wrote about child advocacy.

I was no fun.

So the decision to exit stage right was overdue. I stayed for the people I knew I would miss. And I left for my family’s safety.

Several times this morning I found myself fashioning vestigial posts about ghrelin, Alice Monro, and a beautiful rainstorm.

Notice I am still blogging, so I am hardly cured.

But it is a start.

I believe in the power of prayer. With or without the artifice of social media to prove that I am real.

I want to be real–

A tree that merely grows quietly in the forest. Making little noise at all.

Leave Notes

Posted on April 13, 2014 by Elea Lee

My young son is bored on a quiet Sunday. He decides to play in his father’s (the coolest) car.

I stand by monitoring him. Just a safety precaution.

I look down at the passenger’s seat and see an appointment card.

Unfamiliar doctor.

I squint at the details and realize the date of the appointment was on my father’s birthday. Eight years ago.

He died before his next flight physical.

I cleaned out his personal papers when we bought the car from my mother the week after his crash. Each object a reminder of catastrophic loss.

His Gideon Bibles. The gospel cd in the dash. I kept the faded stickers from his job.

But I have never seen this card before.

I want to call the number on the card. I want to ask the doctor if he remembers my dad. Just reminisce, you know…Does HIPAA apply to the dead?

I don’t believe in death that way. I don’t believe it is final. And this card seems to prove it.

One or both of my dads just dropping a note to his little girl–

I am here. I am still here.

Hebrews 12:1
All of our Palm Sundays…

Sibling Day

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Elea Lee

I always see a rather dour group of chocolate, flower, and card execs huddled together in a dimly lit office…

(Think Brando in Godfather)

Coming up with new holidays–world chicken day? Classic sitcoms day? Creative tie day?

So there. You have my context for Sibling Day. Notice I have waited until the celebrations have subsided to comment.

Years ago I had to buy a book called Sibling Abuse after my adopted daughter revealed that my adopted son was abusing my youngest daughter. And others. He had a list of victims.

He had used his siblings. He abused their trust and their innocence.

And the aftermath was scorching. Our family has stood in a lonely place for a long time now.

My sibling did nothing.

My husband’s sibling as well.

So “sibling day” is kinda painful for me except for one thing–

The children in my family now have the best siblings. They shelter each other and enrich the lives of their brothers and sisters.

They give me hope.

I just wish I could give them the uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins, and friends they so richly deserve.

Dear Cassandra,

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Elea Lee

You were the smallest of the babies and just as beautiful as your sisters.

Your foster mama was a veteran fostering and adopting mother. She told me

everyone has a birth story

Meaning that adopted and foster children had a way of making their entrance into a family memorable.

I worried about you because you were so tiny. I visited your foster mother one day in the spring before they made it clear that all three of you were destined for adoption by the people who took you.

I will never forget praying for you. Praying for the path your life would take.

When you love a baby, your world orbits that child’s well-being forever.

Dearest Mercedes,

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Elea Lee

Your foster mama was a grandmother and she cherished you so.

She and her daughters sang you lullabies with your nickname–Sadie woven into the songs.

Your hair was slightly darker than your sisters, even though Veronica was your identical twin.

I have home movies of you with your sisters on your first birthday. All three of you together was such a joy to see.

Such beautiful babies.

It hurt to lose you. It was some consolation to know you had your sisters.

Carrying Light

Words for light

Author Archives: Elea Lee