Category Archives: abuse victim

Sir Young, Judge Howard, and the myth of the “atypical” rapist

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This one is a doozy– a female judge in Texas sentences a man who sexually assaulted a teenager to a laughably light sentence that included volunteering at a rape crisis center!

This is Texas, people, and just like the affluenza case, it happened in Wendy Davis’ stompin’ ground.

And it is an affront to us all.

Not only is Sir Young a very typical and completely excuseless sex offender, the mythology of any of these losers being somehow “not your typical” rapist is an atrocious fiction.

An atrocious fiction that hides an egregious truth: in Texas and all over this country rapists and pedophiles are getting light-to-no punishment for rape, not just because of shoddy law enforcement and incompetent judges. No. They are dodging sentences, jail time, and felony convictions simply because the states, counties, and local jurisdictions do not want to be responsible for the cost of their incarceration and supervision.

We need to clean house and make the perps pay the legal price for rape. The perps, not their victims.

Charles Frederick Warner’s Legal Rights

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I believe anyone who is fighting for Warner’s right to life should have to read his trial record. We have seen massive media attention playing up the inhumane factors in death by lethal injection, but few people are willing to print the whole truth–millions of dollars have been spent trying to protect the life of a man who raped and murdered a baby. Little or nothing has been done to heal the wound this man left in the world.

Killing Charles Frederick Warner will not remedy his monstrous crime, nor will it restore the life of his primary victim. A playful little baby was turned into the recipient of unimaginable violence and premeditated rape.

One has to wonder about all the “good people” who defended this man–he did not file legal motions by himself. He had a mess of defense witnesses. Who are these people? What is their motivation?

Have we created a partisan team mentality that parses out the egregious crime and unrepentant criminal from the desire for safety for our babies?

Adrianna deserved to live. And once that right was taken from her she deserved justice.

The Abuse of Clayton D. Lockett

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I was re-reading about the sentencing of Lockett for a night of abduction, felony assault, rape, and murder.

The story is as hard to read as any such crime spree–the action of violence spiral out from a center of evil. And we have to face that evil was unleashed by a very deliberate man.

Lockett’s original defense called people to testify that he had been abused and abandoned as a child and was subjected to “homosexual rape.”

They called upon a caseworker to testify that when children are subjected to this kind of abuse they usually suppress rage that leads them to become abusers.

Wow.

Ironically the court record regarding Charles Warner alleges that he physically abused his children.

Are we really to assume these victims of rape and abuse are ticking bombs who will eventually become violent criminals themselves?

No.

It is one more heartbreaking example of the way we fail to protect our children or help them heal when things go wrong.

The vast majority of people who survive child abuse and sexual assault live with the scars and the silence, but they are good people, good parents, normal and law-abiding.

The myth of the psychopathic rape survivor is one more act of shame done unto them, forcing victims into a silent margin.

Lockett was responsible for his crimes. And he had so many other roads he could have taken instead of leading Stephanie Neiman to a agonizing death.

Charles Fredrick Warner Fights For His Life

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…but who fights for Adrianna?

For the last 3 years I have written about the utter–and I do mean utter lack of legal protection afforded the children of this country.

The massive outcry over the fates of convicted rapists and murders (of children), Clayton Lockett and Charles Warner speak volumes about this terrible sin of omission.

Every major news outlet in this country has had a banner headline about these cases. Most focus on the convicts fighting for their rights.

Only one or two mention the brutal crimes these men committed against children.

Lockett tortured and murdered a teen.

Warner raped, savaged, and murdered a baby.

The way we defend the rights of child rapists and murderers matters.

The way we ignore their victims matters more.

No Justice for Amy

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How can anyone quantify a childhood lost to sexual assault and exploitation?

That is the question I ask myself when I read about the recent decision by SCOTUS to limit damages payable to victims of child pornography.

Not only is there no justice in this country for the children victimized by these atrocities, there is also no legitimate attempt to provide financial compensation.

We do not want the burden?

We do not want the judicial red tape?

We are not asking the correct questions of ourselves and our federal government.

The question is simple and devastating–how much is the life of a child worth in this country?

And how do you put a price on justice?

Once again it is clear in America–Justice here is not blind to anything much except the rights of our most vulnerable citizens: our children.

A Letter to Cersei

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I did not watch the depiction of your “fictional” rape, I hold that these depictions hurt real victims of rape and incest. And make no mistake–the real victims are all around us.

So forgive me if I address you as “real.” You are real to me because friends and relatives of mine are the victims of both rape and incest. Most shared their stories because I shared mine–

My daughters were molested by a person they considered a brother. By adoption, by a terribly misplaced trust he was…their brother.

And he abused this trust.

The lurid depiction of rape and incest for the purpose of making money, selling ad space, and entertainment is not ok. Never ok.

And if you were real this is what I would tell you–

Love protects.

Love covers and defends.

Love never violates trust.

And love demands justice, truth, and protection for the survivors of incest.

If you were real I would tell you call the police. Go to a doctor. Call me. I will be there through this nightmare of broken trust.

No one should view rape as entertainment. Ever. And what a terrible measurement of us, all of us, that we would tune in for your “fictional” rape and tune out to all those around us who are haunted by the grief and loneliness and pain caused by these real crimes in our so-broken world.

A Metaphor for You

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You were the one
To tell me all the others did it too
With a percentage
A statistic
Because it is the way you roll

50% percent, eh?
Half of all you knew.
I took the statistic to the source
Never got an answer.

Not surprised…
Inclined to believe they, like you
Would tell the students

obey the patriarchal voice

And hell, eat your broccoli as well
As the water rises around us
To the end.

Always the same reaction

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I was standing in a Walmart years ago when someone I had known for years told me she had been sexually assaulted.

She told me because I told her what had happened to us. She gave me the fragile gift of a common experience–a tragic common story.

I never knew. She is a beautiful, very together, very articulate woman. I never knew about this heartbreak.

I find my reaction to these stories is always the same. I want to hit something. I want to pound out the anger and hurt that is inherently a part of any crime

Especially against children.

Especially when they trust the person who hurts them.

I say this because if you have one of those stories you need to know you are not alone.

I grieve for you, pray for you, and long for justice for you.