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Rules for losing a child
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Tag Archives: miscarriage
Children of heaven
at dusk I take the bits of fortune cookies, crumbs still scattered across the messy kitchen table and…write to you, about the disposable styrofoam containers, syrupy orange sauce, tendency I have to eat my way through grief (of losing you) when…I admit you…do not need me, better that way, my trenchant sentenceless phrasing, my desert-wandering inertia, my messy house and muted grief all pressed into this vanilla-y cookie folded around words written by a stranger somewhere, perhaps one day there will be an algorithm for these things equal parts admonition and prophecy. Oh, prophecy, the old clothes of mortality, cast-off, superfluous from the beginning to
the children of heaven.
Not-so-clingy Mcguffin
What if losing you
were like nothing so much as
watching a child throw
an erstwhile boomerang
into a once-drowned field?
Even with the approximate knowledge of descent, I pace,
Shift aside the long grace
..shift aside the long grass…with my feet
Look for signs of you-markings like the body of
a coiled snake
Glint of color, perhaps
but you are lost out there
Needle-in-a-hay-field
And I tell them things to tell myself
You are not a boomerang
Even a boomerang is not always
a boomerang (when it fails to return across the field)
Oh darling
Come back to me
in the end.
Trace
what if it was perfume
or acorns stashed in my pockets?
Bits of things remind me
of you
Lost to me for now
I trace all the
Alternate
timelines of our
Would-be existence together
How did you
sprint past me, Dear?
Leaving perfume, acorns
emptied from the inside out
This pocketful of
Birnam Wood in my hands,
in my hands, this forest floor
Dirt, mulch, fallen leaves, roots, baby trees…
Saplings, timbers, interlacing
Limbs outstretched toward the warm
Light of God who takes away the sins of the world
…the story we will be.
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